Shedding Skins... Losing weight Gaining life

If the world knows who Joseph Kony is, it will unite to stop him. It starts here.

Watch the video: Kony 2012
Kony2012.com

It’s been a long time coming! invisible children has always been close to my heart and I’m so incredibly glad to see these problems becoming forefront in our lives. We take so much for granted, and I see so much complaining and negativity on here- look at all that you have to be grateful for.

(via rapunzel69)

grapefruitfit asked: I know you've heard it a lot, but you are truly an inspiration and your "My Story" post was seriously moving.

Aw thank you! It means a ton to hear that from people. That’s why I posted it, and it’s just good to know we’re not alone in how we feel. I’m shocked by the number of people on here who say the same things I’m thinking. Thanks for your kind words :)

(via thick--no--more)

irocmysocks asked: i want to be you. i don't know how many times i've tried to get started and lose motivation. i'm your height and im dangerously close to 300 lbs. send some of your awesomeness my way please! :)

I’ve never had anyone say they want to be me! Woo :) it’s the hardest part to get started, but once you’ve been going and you see the weight loss, it gets much easier - for me anyways. (The good thing about being our height is that at least we hold our weight well! I’d never guess you were close to 300!) My advice is just try, and if you slip up, don’t beat yourself up and try again.  I don’t think you can ever really “fail” as long as you’re trying! 

thinandbeautiful asked: Thanks for following me <3. Your profile picture is amazing!! x

Thank you! Love the pictures on your page, their clothes definitely give me motivation! :)

losingforthewin asked: Go girl! You're amazing and you look amazing! It happens to the best of us that we let some idiot change us at some point in our lives, but you've taken a bad experience and learned from it! He's an idiot and you're worth being happy and confident! So keep up the good work, beautiful! You'll go far!

Thank you! I definitely learned my lesson, and I think most of the idiots change us in ways that are better for ourselves, so at least they’re worth something.. somewhat! :) I REALLY like your blog, and how it isn’t only pictures of extremely skinny women. I like seeing people trying to “change their relationship with food and fitness”. That’s BRILLIANT! And it’s refreshing.  I am definitely going to follow your 60 day weight-loss challenge and you can do it, you’re beautiful! Clearly inside and out, so thanks so much for your kind words! :)

allureinallsimplicity asked: you are truly an inspiration

Thank you! That means a lot to me.  I love the pictures on your blog, that pink coat needs to be in my  closet, in a size small.. I’d DEFINITELY be even more determined to lose the rest of my weight if it was! :)

Today was the first day I’ve felt pretty good about myself in a while, which is sad because about four months ago I thought I was doing great.  I was feeling great. I was losing weight, I was exercising, I was strong.  Strong-willed, strong-bodied, strong-minded.  

Then I let it go a little bit.  I started dating a guy, who was smart, made me laugh, and partied. All the time.  Wanted to drink, wanted to go out for dinner, wanted to do anything and everything.  So I went along with it.  I dropped my own plans - plans of getting healthy, losing the rest of my weight, being fit and happy - in order to do what he wanted. I know, it was really no one’s fault but my own, but I cared too much about pleasing him to care enough about myself. Then one night at dinner, I ordered spinach artichoke dip, and he said “You know, there’s plenty of good salads on the menu”.  Like he was judging me for having gained weight, when it was me trying to be with him that caused it in the first place.  He put me down, he made me feel bad about myself, and I never realized it because he did it in such a subtle way.  He made me feel like I was annoying (which I totally can be), he made me doubt my beauty, he made me feel unintelligent.  It wasn’t really his fault, he couldn’t have made me feel that way if I had had any semblance of self-confidence.  It’s that lack of self-confidence that ruins any and every relationship I enter into.  I can love myself for a bit, but expecting anyone else to love me? That’s out of the question.  

A couple weeks ago this guy - a 23 year old man, about to graduate college and work in a lucrative career.  Dumped me. Via Facebook.  No, not Facebook chat.. Facebook relationship status change. After three months of dating - which isn’t long, but looking back on it it was definitely long enough.  When it happened I felt absolutely worthless.  I introduced him to my family, I told him I loved him, I trusted him, and I gave myself to him.  I was crushed.  

Knowing that I’ve opened up to him about all my insecurities, my past bad relationships, and my fear of him hurting me.  That’s how he chose to end it with me.

I was shocked.

But now, that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m not even a little bit surprised that he did that.  It’s only been two weeks, and I’ve decided that that was the kind of boy he was, all along.  My friends saw it, my family saw it.  I probably even saw it, I just didn’t have the love for myself to realize that I deserved better. 

Today was the first day I thought about him without feeling a little pit in my stomach - not even because I couldn’t talk to him - that should have been my first clue. I didn’t miss talking to him, I didn’t reach for my phone wanting a text from him.  I was just embarrassed and hurt that he dumped me by changing his relationship status. (What a LOSER who DOES that? Right??) Haha. 

Today I thought about it and I laughed.  Right now it makes me smile thinking about it.. I guess I’m coming to the point where I think about being dumped on Facebook, realize the patheticness of it, and embrace the humor in it. 

I told my aunt, mom, and my sister about it at Thanksgiving while we were going through the ads and the guys were watching football.  My aunt was on the ground, holding her stomach, laughing.  My sister was laughing a little, and my mom was giving them stern looks, trying to hold back a smile.  My aunt sputtered out, “what the hell! I am so glad I’m not in your generation, is that like.. how they do it now?!” 

No, Aunt Kim. That’s not “like how they do it”.  

That’s how he did it.

Thinking back on Thanksgiving, I love that I had that moment. They showed me just how funny what happened could be.  They put it into perspective and made me giggle over my unfortunate choice of men.

Yes it still irritates me a little, hurts a tiny bit I guess, but mostly I think it’s funny.  Which is empowering because I get to be almost glad that happened to me - it’s a good story to tell my future daughter one day when some stupid boy breaks her heart.

And maybe someday he’ll have a little girl whose boyfriend broke her heart, and he’ll think about me and feel regret.

I’m banking on him being infertile though… a girl can dream right? ;) 

KIDDING.

Anyways, moral of this story is that weight loss and reaching my goal weight, is not my number one goal.  Learning to love myself is my number one goal.  So for the time being, I’m taking a break from trying to find someone to be with.  Taking a break, finding myself, and learning to appreciate the person that I am.  Because I do know that I’m a good person, I just need to realize that I’m good enough to love.

I think that’s something most women my age need to learn though, so I’m not alone in this.

OH and lesson learned - don’t lose sight of your goals.  ESPECIALLY not to “have fun” or because of a boy.  Four months later, you’ll be sitting at home, more tired from working out than you used to be, twenty pounds heavier, and kicking yourself for losing sight of what matters.

But I’m back on track, and so ready to finish this that I have no doubt that I will.  Everyone’s weight loss journey has some pitstops - mine just happened to be four months at McDouche’s that ended in a completely humiliating, somewhat hilarious cyber-dumping and me, on the couch, eating celery, with shin splints and a bigger butt than before.  

My working out necessities! Luckily I just moved into an apartment with a 24 hour gym, so winter won’t kill me… I just have to get used to going to a gym. And figure out when no one else will be there!

motavationformyself asked: oh my word you look absolutely incredible! do you have any workout tips?

Thank you! I love hearing that, it’s so encouraging!

I do cardio most days, and then other days I run my dog across the pedestrian bridge in Omaha, I’m blessed to live close to a lot of great running trails! And I have this pretty adorable pink beach cruiser that I ride pretty often! I’ve only done cardio really, and I figure once I get closer to my goal weight, I’ll really start toning up and doing strength training.  Although I have been getting some great exercise tips from here that I’m going to start doing every morning.  My friend’s been trying to get me to do P90x with her, but I’m about 80% positive my body isn’t ready for that yet.  I don’t push myself beyond my limits, because I know that if I ease my way there, I’ll get to where I want to be.  

Before I began this, I wouldn’t have been able to walk halfway across the bridge - let alone jog my dog across it.

I’m going to post some stuff about my exercise in the next couple days. Starting tonight with some pictures of my bike and the bridge and my pup :) So if anything about my work out changes I’ll let ya know! But mostly it’s been my diet - I gave up meat and just began eating extremely healthy.